I have committed a sin. The sin of pride. Last week I naively decided to write (boast) about how the rest of my family was sick, and how despite the lack of sleep and my home being a cesspool of viruses and bacteria, I was getting healthier and stronger by the day. I even went so far as to claim that I had developed Mummunity. That special kind of immunity that mums have which keeps them healthy when everyone else in the house is on their deathbeds.
I have since discovered that I do not have Mummunity, and that my claims to possessing this powerful magic are in fact completely false. What I do have is a particularly nasty flu virus that is slowly but surely cooking my insides, scorching my eyeballs, and sucking my will to live.
So to all of those that I mislead or offended with my false claims of Mummunity, I apologise. You can all rest assured that karma has caught up with me. I am at this very minute being punished for my boastfulness. As well as a burning fever with uncontrollable shivers, aching limbs, a crushing headache, and a nose that won’t stop running, I have in my sole care two vibrantly healthy and exuberant little people. Both of whom are hell bent on ensuring that I do not get a single moment’s rest, despite my extremely fragile and slightly delirious condition.
Whilst I can now categorically retract all claims that SAHDs may have to Mummunity, I can also now confirm that the dreaded Man-Flu is very real, and does not discriminate between working man or SAHD.
On the off chance that I survive this terrible Man-Flu without some form of horrific and permanent disability, you can rest assured that the days of me making boastful claims are now in the past. And if I don’t happen to pull through, it would be very much appreciated if someone could please pop down to my local daycare centre where it all began, and avenge my death.