A Humble Retraction

I have committed a sin.  The sin of pride.  Last week I naively decided to write (boast) about how the rest of my family was sick, and how despite the lack of sleep and my home being a cesspool of viruses and bacteria, I was getting healthier and stronger by the day.  I even went so far as to claim that I had developed Mummunity.  That special kind of immunity that mums have which keeps them healthy when everyone else in the house is on their deathbeds.

I have since discovered that I do not have Mummunity, and that my claims to possessing this powerful magic are in fact completely false.  What I do have is a particularly nasty flu virus that is slowly but surely cooking my insides, scorching my eyeballs, and sucking my will to live.

So to all of those that I mislead or offended with my false claims of Mummunity, I apologise.  You can all rest assured that karma has caught up with me. I am at this very minute being punished for my boastfulness.  As well as a burning fever with uncontrollable shivers, aching limbs, a crushing headache, and a nose that won’t stop running, I have in my sole care two vibrantly healthy and exuberant little people.  Both of whom are hell bent on ensuring that I do not get a single moment’s rest, despite my extremely fragile and slightly delirious condition.

Whilst I can now categorically retract all claims that SAHDs may have to Mummunity, I can also now confirm that the dreaded Man-Flu is very real, and does not discriminate between working man or SAHD.

On the off chance that I survive this terrible Man-Flu without some form of horrific and permanent disability, you can rest assured that the days of me making boastful claims are now in the past.  And if I don’t happen to pull through, it would be very much appreciated if someone could please pop down to my local daycare centre where it all began, and avenge my death.

Humbly yours

D-E-D.

 

 

 

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